Do you know that everyone has a purpose and calling in their lives?
I was never one who believed that I had a purpose in life. My upbringing was a rough one and I did not like people, especially the religious ones. I was a person who was full of anger and could spit acid in how much bitterness I was holding inside my heart! I grew up with a religious and legalistic stepfather.
Religion was shoved down my throat and not in a loving way but more of a legalistic harsh way! Who wants to know about this so-called God after that right? This was my core reason why I disliked religious people. I felt they were over religious and hypocrites.
My perception came from what I saw in my upbringing. It was my reality throughout those years. Then came that place in life where desperation kicked in and it was time for a change, change within! I had to figure out why I was so angry.
I had to do my own research and search within my own heart. I began admitting some of my pain and issues that took place. Allowing healing and accountability and this where something was birth within me. This is how the name, “Carriers of Hope”, was birth from.
See from my pain came his gain. Today I able to share with people from all backgrounds, different walks of life. Knowing that the big guy upstairs sent me to share my story with others. To breathe life to into those areas that have died, are dying and breath Hope One Life a Time!
Just in case you feel like you have no purpose, reread this post, so it encourages you and reminds you that YOU to have been called for a purpose and that there is something birthing within that you need to deliver that the world needs to hear.
I like having control over things, like what my upcoming weeks look like or knowing when and how I am going to handle a particular project. Or how to get my kids or husband to get them to do something I want them to do. I can predict the outcome and prepare accordingly for attitudes and negotiation and even compromising. Yet there have been other things that I had no control over. I have mentored and counseled many individuals throughout life. But, how about when you can not control an unexpected issue like a terrible break-up, a divorce of a couple, a severe illness, a loss of a job, or a loss of a loved one. Listen to the news and hear all the things that are taking place in our day to day society. But what do you do when it happens and it mainly affects you?
I woke up thinking about the tragic accident that took place yesterday with Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and the other six passengers. I am a mother and wife, and my heart hurts for those families. I think of the call that was made to his wife and envision what may have gone through her mind to not only receive the news of her husband but then in the very next breath hearing that her daughter passed away too — the same with the other families. Life will never be the same for them. A part of them will be missing that will not be given back. I have no relationship with any of these individuals. However, I know the pain of losing a loved one. My heart and prayer go out to the families.
How does one deal when you receive news like this? How does one deal with all the emotions that come from those situations of trauma or tragedy?
With my own experiences, I recall being so angry when I got the news of good friends of ours that were killed by a drunk driver and when my mother passed away from cancer. Devastation kicked in, and I had all these mixed emotions. I did not know how to process what was said, yet let alone how does one grieve, and go back to day to day life without that person no longer being in their life. How does one hold and process everything that they are feeling, thinking, and wishing it was a bad nightmare? Then evenutally coming to terms, and realizing that it happened and that those loved ones are not coming back.
I wish I had those answers on what to do. I know for me, I was in a state of shock, and the world stopped at that moment. Nothing else mattered, and nothing could soothe the pain of losing someone you love. Then all the should of, could of the sit-in and you try to remember the last conversation or last thing said. For me, it took many years to talk about what happened, I went through a dark time of being depressed. I do not know if it was that I was just not ready to procesd and/or just trying to survive, in denial, or just not go there because of the pain I felt. Eventually, I had to learn to go to that place of torment. I am one who, when I begin to cry, and I am trying to express myself, all I can do is cry, and there goes the end of that conversation. That when I finally do share, it is ugly and hard. Yet it is therapeutic; it didn’t make the people I love come back but help soothe and made it easier to process the emotions I felt.
I have learned the importance of accountability. Yes, I did say accountability. It is going to require you to speak about those things that have occurred throughout life. You are not truly going to know how to process or handle what has happened. Having someone in your life helps hold your challenges, and that will guide and be there with you through the aftermath. Many times the risk of being accountable and authentic is hard for individuals. Being on the receiving side at times, we feel that we have to have the right words or have to say something, but it is okay to sit and just listen. Just being there for that individual can bring healing to their life. But one of the things that can help me help others is putting myself in their shoes and being in that moment per say in what they are vocalizing.
Beloved, I am not sure what you are facing today, I am hoping that you would be ready and open to share those hard places of your life. Reflecting on the importance of going to a friend or relative or yes, a counselor/therapist. That you feel you can share that brave space with and share your pain and sufferings with is so therapeutic. It is the first step forward in beginning your healing process. There is not a timeline of when to no longer hurt and mourn over the loved ones you have lost. Embrace each day as it comes. I know when the holidays come, I often think of my loved ones and become sad, and I embrace it and I know there in a much better place than I am. From these hardships, I have learned that life is too short and learning to be present at the moment with those loved ones that are still here. Life goes by very quickly.
There was a meta anayalis done and it stated, “The average person who received therapy is better off at the end of it than 80% of those who do not”. This is something I can vouch for as I have taken therapy and believe in it. It has help me to cope and heal and given me tools to utlize when those unexpected things come up. So take time out today and make that call and share those things that are holding you back and/or that have been hard to deal with. I promise you will not regret it!
Some many things happen in our lives that we don’t understand the reasoning behind. I am always making a mental list jotting down in my mind when things have not gone as planned. Or rather, as I prayed accordingly to my selfish desires or needs. Some of those specifics things made me question my faith and blame God. Seeing my mother healed once of cancer, and yet the next time, it completely took her out. Praying for marriage and seeing them go through the hardship of a divorce. Death of a loved one unexpectedly after we poured our hearts out and p[rayed and saw their entire family restored than all of sudden killed by a drunk driver. Those things left me feeling unheard or beating myself up, saying, I should have prayed or fast more — those times when I felt like God had not come through. Or these are the results of my poor choices throughout my life, and it being payback.
It was discouraging for me when the results were not what I had expected or prayed. Those things caused me to question his existence. I created no space to look outside of that and allowed my heart to become hardened and stagnant in my relationship with him. Envisioning myself that when I got to heaven, pulling out my list and telling the people behind me, “I need a few minutes so he can answer these questions. Things that I took to heart and did not understand why it did not come through. Being so angry at God and questioning his goodness.
Yet, the more I get to know him today, I realize his goodness and love for me and others in this world. The more I am on this earth and commune with him, I am learning that he is a good and kind father like no other I have ever known or experienced. The kind of father who loves me unconditional without walls or barriers. With my imperfections, questioning, doubts, and fears and yet meets me at my ugliest moments knowing how I feel. Do you recall when Jesus was on the cross and cried out to his father, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me”? He questioned his father and felt abandoned.
I am so thankful that he rescued me from a life full of brokenness and searching for validation in all the wrong places. I should have been dead or not living the life I am today. I am learning to trust that he knows the “WHYS.” See, I know deep in my heart he has always looked out for me throughout different situations that have crossed my path. Yet, I have struggled with doubt, and my faith has waivered so many times.
I heard something so profound by Bill Johnson and thought, “Thank you for explaining to those that can be close-minded like myself and that have had a lack of faith, still learning to trust in taking him at his word. These words hit home, and it has begun to change my perspective about everything and silenced my doubts and questioning — something so profound but not as simple when you are in your head and has struggled with disbelief.
He stated, “When it doesn’t work, we don’t blame God. We celebrate and give him the glory. We celebrate his goodness. Nothing about our experiences, difficult or not, changes who he is”. Thank you, Bill Johnson, for setting me straight! Immediately that list came to mind, and I felt such a wave of peace with those words. I am laying to rest my list of questioning, struggles, and of blaming God for specific things. Giving Him glory and praising him for his goodness and that I will continue to see his glory.
Beloved, what is it that you have felt that God did not come through in your life? Is this what is holding you back from experiencing his goodness and from moving forward? Sometimes we have to take a step back and reflect and trust the process. We may never know why something occurred, but he knows the “WHYS”!
I want to encourage you to go deeper in your journey with him. Learn to share those hard moments with God in how your feeling and to help with disbelief. I encourage you to seek his face and goodness in those parts of your life that have been difficult? Throw away the list and embrace his goodness. Do not let the “WHYS” paralyze you! I am jumping from the sidelines, getting my praise, and waiting in expectation of what God is doing within you!!!
This week I had a young man tell me that his soon to be mother-in-law didn’t want him to marry her daughter. I asked why, “He said, she still sees me like the old person I use to be”.
A few months back, this young man began to recognize things in him that he was no longer happy with. He began to focus on those areas and began to create change little by little.
When your in transition and someone still sees or remembers you as that old self that can be discouraging. No matter what you say they still define you as who they once knew. Which is understandable because they have never met the new you!
I know there are areas in my life that I struggle with and that I am working on. Some days are harder than others but I continue to press toward the goal.
Self reflection: Are there areas in your life that you are struggling with? That you no longer want it to define you as. Let’s hone in one thing at a time!
I said to this young man, “You do not have to prove that your a changed man. Allow others to see your behaviors and actions of who you have become”. Watch your thoughts and attitudes in your mind and continue to throw off the old self when it tries to creep back in and embrace the new self!
The key is continuing to move forward even if your afraid of embarking on the new you that you have never met. But do it, even if your doing it afraid!
In order to be world changers it has to begin within us. Here is quote I want to leave you with:
You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending- C.S. Lewis
Have you ever watched a tv show or movie that had you sitting at the edge of your seat anticipating what is going to happen next? Then all of sudden it ends with “To be continued”.
You have all these emotions running through your veins and left wondering what just happened and why would they leave you that way? When will it be continued?
If you are like me I pull out my phone and search online to see when the next sequel or episode is coming out. Only left feeling more disappointed when there are no answers to those questions.
Have you ever felt like that about life? All of sudden things are going great and then something happens that alters your life, causing a pause. Either by a tragedy, loss of a love one, a separation or divorce or unexpected illness. Left wondering what just happened? What is going to happen next?
When I look back at some of the episodes of my life many have brought different emotions like pain and brokenness, while others caused a hardness of heart and bitterness! Left wondering will this pass? Some of those painful moments created self reflection and brought change within me or my situation. Learning from many of my “to be continued” series.
Just like the tv show or sequel it continues and shows you the next part of the story.
I am not sure what your facing today, but I want to encourage you that the things that have been left “to be continued” will be continued! You are building your story, your sequel, your next episode.
Every episode in your life builds upon the story that was created for you! Be encouraged today, this too shall pass! Then you will sit back and play the reruns of your life with others and those episodes will bring hope and encouragement to others as your share.
Have you ever felt like there so many things going on all at the same time?
Then that one little thing sets you off and you reflect on everything that’s not going right. What do we do with that? Do you deal with things as they come up or are we just continuing to stuff things and tell ourselves I’ll deal with that later? Yet later never comes!
I know from personal experience I have been one to stuff what I was feeling and then never come to address it ever again. Either because I was afraid of having to go there and relive that experience or those feelings of being angry would come up all over again. What I have learned on this journey is that by holding on to things in and never addressing them it begins to create a hardened heart. It begins to take away from who you were called to be. You begin to become complacent and believe that this new journey is a part of you. When in reality it is taking the life out of you. You become hopeless in the process and start losing the fight.
Like the rest of the world we are all struggling with some type of brokenness, wound or challenges in our lives. The suicide rate continues to escalate or people begin turning to things that they believe can numb or fix the pain. Then to circle right back around and stay stuck in the same place we started.
I want to advice you to change your thinking and change the lane your on and head towards the path of bettering yourself. Remember we are all a work in progress. Learn to deal with stuff along the way or kill the pride and ask someone to walk alongside this journey so your not going at it alone! Two are better than one!
Take time today to deal with one thing that you can change and have control over versus the opposite of that. Your worth it!
I recently purchased equipment similar to the ring door. It was fascinating that every time any kind of activity came near it would alert me. I can watch through the camera as things were coming up towards the door and how it just alerted. It would indicate, “Motion Detected” whether it was an animal or someone walking by it automatically picked any motion.
Being who I am I always look at things as an opportunity to dig deeper which made me reflect on how unalert we are with the things that we allow in our lives. Or sometimes are alert of the those. How many times in our lives have we detected something and just kind of brushed it away and figured oh it’s nothing. Years later it reared it’s ugly head up again and are still dealing with those things that were detected years ago.
What I found the most fascinating about this device was the fact that I can watch those things as they were coming near. How many times in our life do you really keep an eye out on those things that are getting to close and can be a threat to our well-being? Whether it’s an unwanted relationship, unhealthy habits or boundaries that we’ve allowed or crossed and jeopardized our morals.
We have to be like that device and detect any type of motion and really see if we can give it access. Whether it is with our emotions, behaviors or attitudes. Even with our own hidden beliefs that something goes off to alert us that it’s not okay and that we need to be on the lookout. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve simply ignored those things that I detected with habits, behaviors and the things I have done to make myself believe it is okay.
This device has come in handy, and one of the primary reason I purchased it was my daughter is heading into middle school next year. I wanted a sense of safety and security for her if I was not home. This device caused some self-reflection and question if I was monitoring my own life or not. Was I taking inventory of everything that was coming in and out of my heart, mind, and soul? This caused me to hone in on those things that aren’t necessarily good and not settle for things that I have allowed or highlight those things that I am unwilling to deal with.
Go on this journey with me and ponder for a quick moment. What are you detecting? Is it time look at those things in the face and detect what does or does not my belong in your life? Have you detected some motion taking place and either not face them or maybe you are ready to deal with it or just simply are okay with ignoring it?
I believe everything in life happens for a reason, and I don’t believe in coincidental. Every detail of our lives is part of our story whether it’s good or bad. As an individual’s, we have to learn to embrace the good and the bad but work on the things that are not good and learn to keep those things out. Detecting any kind of motion that may be detrimental in the long haul.
Beloved, are you ready to go on this journey with me and detect what those things are? It is time to take inventory of what has been happening lately.
Ask yourself, “Are you okay with what you have been detecting?” Whether it is good or bad, do not beat yourself over it!
Now set an action plan into place!
Grab an accountability partner, who will hold you accountable and be there during this new stance and journey you have taken.