I remember growing up hearing my stepfather tell me, “I would never amount to anything.” So I allowed fear to paralyze me and keep me hidden. It was when the failure part came to reality to me. I had learned to remain unseen and never discovering who I was within me for so many years bound by fear and unworthiness.
I recognize where I was failing at was not trying and not believing in myself. I had to unlock what was within me and be seen. I had to reevaluate the lies and replace them with the truth. I had to get out of my comfort zone and do it even if I was afraid of the outcome. So many lies kept me stuck and handicap. What a great feeling of accomplishment when I stepped out of the way of me! Where would I be today if I had decided to be locked away somewhere? Are you afraid of failing like I was?
Are you in the way of you? Are you stopping yourself from grabbing ahold of the things you have dreamt of and locked away not to be seen? As the world sits on the other side longing for someone to speak life and give them hope, yet you are the carrier, the one they have waited on.
Can you envision yourself making a difference, strutting in your accomplishments? Get out of your way, step aside, and let me introduce you to the “New You.” Please get to know that person, he/she is waiting for you to unlock those dreams and release the real you. You have something so different and unique about you. Now unlock you and take a look at all you have inside of you. The world awaits your talents and gifting and your presence.
Learn to evaluate the lies and replace them with the truth. The only thing stopping you from unlocking you is YOU!
The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one- John Maxwell.
Have you ever wondered why we do the things we sometimes do? Maybe you are unaware that you are doing it! Sometimes the things we struggle with is rooted in something that might seem unrelated to the behavior itself.
I have been guilty of saying, “I’m going to stop doing this. As if it was that easy, right. These approaches are helpful, but in reality, that particular challenge does not just go away or was not created overnight. I have not seen problems successfully stop; they continue to sprout back up. It’s like cutting a weed off at the top without ripping it up from the roots. It is going to continue to happen and grow back.
In our lives, we have to get to the root of what may be going on. Before even touching the challenges or behaviors. Let’s take a look at our belief system and not at the behaviors but the roots of those. As he/she thinks in his/her heart, so is he.
So how do we begin this process?
You start with the one lie.
Then you locate when this lie first gave birth. Ex. For someone to love me, I have to perform. Growing up, my parents only acknowledged when I would do good, and then they showed me love and acceptance.
Asking God to help heal that hurtful place in your heart.
Make a declaration statement. Ex. I am loved for who I am, not by what I do.
Focus on that declaration statement for the next 30 days, have someone hold you accountable and ask you how you are doing. Whenever the lie comes up, remind yourself that you are loved.
It may take some time for you to adjust and believe that you are loved, but if you practice this, it will become ingrained in your heart and mind. Continue to chisel the lie with your truth.
I believe in journaling as it keeps inventory of all that is taking place in your life. This is where you can reference and review if your growing in that particular area.
Remember to find the root of your truth. You will quickly discover that it is a lie and needs to be uprooted. Fill it back with the truth and learn to love it again! I hope you enjoyed reading this blog. Feel free to share this with someone who could use some encouragement.
Do you know that everyone has a purpose and calling in their lives?
I was never one who believed that I had a purpose in life. My upbringing was a rough one and I did not like people, especially the religious ones. I was a person who was full of anger and could spit acid in how much bitterness I was holding inside my heart! I grew up with a religious and legalistic stepfather.
Religion was shoved down my throat and not in a loving way but more of a legalistic harsh way! Who wants to know about this so-called God after that right? This was my core reason why I disliked religious people. I felt they were over religious and hypocrites.
My perception came from what I saw in my upbringing. It was my reality throughout those years. Then came that place in life where desperation kicked in and it was time for a change, change within! I had to figure out why I was so angry.
I had to do my own research and search within my own heart. I began admitting some of my pain and issues that took place. Allowing healing and accountability and this where something was birth within me. This is how the name, “Carriers of Hope”, was birth from.
See from my pain came his gain. Today I able to share with people from all backgrounds, different walks of life. Knowing that the big guy upstairs sent me to share my story with others. To breathe life to into those areas that have died, are dying and breath Hope One Life a Time!
Just in case you feel like you have no purpose, reread this post, so it encourages you and reminds you that YOU to have been called for a purpose and that there is something birthing within that you need to deliver that the world needs to hear.
Have you struggled to share your authentic self with others? Do you even know who your authentic self is?
When I think of being authentic, I think of a person who wears no makeup. I am not saying that a person who wears makeup is not genuine. I am saying this is what comes to my mind. A fresh, clean face with nothing on it to cover it up. No highlighters, foundation, or concealer are covering up the imperfections or flaws.
So many times in our lives, we try to cover up our authentic self because of rejection, acceptance, or fear of being judged. So we create a counterfeit of who we think people will accept and approve. Or show up as a person we believe will fit in and be liked.
In some of my own experiences, people have ridiculed me for being authentic. Either when I have shared my heart on a matter, or my feelings got hurt, and I have expressed it to the offender. Or when I have been wholly misunderstood.
2019 has been about self-discovery. I had many counterfeit moments before embarking on this new journey. I thought if this is the response I get for being real? It’s better to be fake! But is it really? Your only cheating yourself!
Being authentic comes with a pretty hefty cost. There is a risk that comes with being authentic. That not a lot of people will buy or like you for it. Many years ago, God reminded me, whatever you do, Sandy keeps things real.” So this was brought back full circle in 2019.
What I discovered is that not a lot of people can handle someone being authentic or showing their vulnerability. It is like a mirror reflection of themselves, of them being counterfeit, hiding behind all the fluffs, titles, and whatever other concealers and become threatened. People, including myself, can say hurtful things that can scar us if we are not careful when we see our true reflection.
So, are YOU being your authentic self? If you have been a counterfeit, then its time to come out of hiding and get around people who are willing to take the risk and be authentic with you!
“Staying real” is one of the most courageous battles that we will ever fight.
Some many things happen in our lives that we don’t understand the reasoning behind. I am always making a mental list jotting down in my mind when things have not gone as planned. Or rather, as I prayed accordingly to my selfish desires or needs. Some of those specifics things made me question my faith and blame God. Seeing my mother healed once of cancer, and yet the next time, it completely took her out. Praying for marriage and seeing them go through the hardship of a divorce. Death of a loved one unexpectedly after we poured our hearts out and p[rayed and saw their entire family restored than all of sudden killed by a drunk driver. Those things left me feeling unheard or beating myself up, saying, I should have prayed or fast more — those times when I felt like God had not come through. Or these are the results of my poor choices throughout my life, and it being payback.
It was discouraging for me when the results were not what I had expected or prayed. Those things caused me to question his existence. I created no space to look outside of that and allowed my heart to become hardened and stagnant in my relationship with him. Envisioning myself that when I got to heaven, pulling out my list and telling the people behind me, “I need a few minutes so he can answer these questions. Things that I took to heart and did not understand why it did not come through. Being so angry at God and questioning his goodness.
Yet, the more I get to know him today, I realize his goodness and love for me and others in this world. The more I am on this earth and commune with him, I am learning that he is a good and kind father like no other I have ever known or experienced. The kind of father who loves me unconditional without walls or barriers. With my imperfections, questioning, doubts, and fears and yet meets me at my ugliest moments knowing how I feel. Do you recall when Jesus was on the cross and cried out to his father, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me”? He questioned his father and felt abandoned.
I am so thankful that he rescued me from a life full of brokenness and searching for validation in all the wrong places. I should have been dead or not living the life I am today. I am learning to trust that he knows the “WHYS.” See, I know deep in my heart he has always looked out for me throughout different situations that have crossed my path. Yet, I have struggled with doubt, and my faith has waivered so many times.
I heard something so profound by Bill Johnson and thought, “Thank you for explaining to those that can be close-minded like myself and that have had a lack of faith, still learning to trust in taking him at his word. These words hit home, and it has begun to change my perspective about everything and silenced my doubts and questioning — something so profound but not as simple when you are in your head and has struggled with disbelief.
He stated, “When it doesn’t work, we don’t blame God. We celebrate and give him the glory. We celebrate his goodness. Nothing about our experiences, difficult or not, changes who he is”. Thank you, Bill Johnson, for setting me straight! Immediately that list came to mind, and I felt such a wave of peace with those words. I am laying to rest my list of questioning, struggles, and of blaming God for specific things. Giving Him glory and praising him for his goodness and that I will continue to see his glory.
Beloved, what is it that you have felt that God did not come through in your life? Is this what is holding you back from experiencing his goodness and from moving forward? Sometimes we have to take a step back and reflect and trust the process. We may never know why something occurred, but he knows the “WHYS”!
I want to encourage you to go deeper in your journey with him. Learn to share those hard moments with God in how your feeling and to help with disbelief. I encourage you to seek his face and goodness in those parts of your life that have been difficult? Throw away the list and embrace his goodness. Do not let the “WHYS” paralyze you! I am jumping from the sidelines, getting my praise, and waiting in expectation of what God is doing within you!!!
In the line of work that I do, it requires me to speak, address, and encourage. At times this can be a challenge for me, especially when you see someone making the same decisions over and over again, knowing that this has not been beneficial for that individual or the situation.
I have been guilty of saying something that I did not utilize wisdom in the way I spoke towards myself, with my children, spouse, and my influence of friends. Where the words just came spewing out of my mouth. You know that feeling you get when you were wanting to kick yourself and are saying, “Did I just say that out loud.” Knowing that no matter what, I said, it wouldn’t change anything, and I can’t take it back.
I am quickly learning that I have to use wisdom in the things I say and that my tongue can steer what direction I want to go in and not. It is like a rudder on a ship in how it determines the direction a ship will go. My tongue has the power to steer a conversation in a positive or opposite direction. I have been guilty of hitting many avalanches, and my ship quickly sinking like the titanic.
Our tongue has the power to produce life and death. It can speak words of encouragement to people and their circumstances or can crush an individual’s spirit and create discouragement and the will to fight the good fight on their growth. It is so easy to spew out words out of frustration.
I am becoming more conscious of watching what I say. Asking myself, “Is this going to edify or tear down whatever that is that is that I am facing.” I am completely transparent here at times I want to go straight to tearing down whether it is to myself that I am speaking to or speaking of others. Then the light bulb begins to flash, and I have to ask, “Is this helping the situation,” and I do walk away feeling any better? The answer is, “No.”
So I want to challenge you today to come on this journey with me. To be conscious and watch what you are saying and then ask yourself, is this helping the situation or tearing it down? Let’s speak life into our situation and whatever it is your facing today. There is already enough negativity in this world; let’s be the light and shine in the midst of those dark moments of our lives, so we can help others shine the light on theirs.
This week I had a young man tell me that his soon to be mother-in-law didn’t want him to marry her daughter. I asked why, “He said, she still sees me like the old person I use to be”.
A few months back, this young man began to recognize things in him that he was no longer happy with. He began to focus on those areas and began to create change little by little.
When your in transition and someone still sees or remembers you as that old self that can be discouraging. No matter what you say they still define you as who they once knew. Which is understandable because they have never met the new you!
I know there are areas in my life that I struggle with and that I am working on. Some days are harder than others but I continue to press toward the goal.
Self reflection: Are there areas in your life that you are struggling with? That you no longer want it to define you as. Let’s hone in one thing at a time!
I said to this young man, “You do not have to prove that your a changed man. Allow others to see your behaviors and actions of who you have become”. Watch your thoughts and attitudes in your mind and continue to throw off the old self when it tries to creep back in and embrace the new self!
The key is continuing to move forward even if your afraid of embarking on the new you that you have never met. But do it, even if your doing it afraid!
In order to be world changers it has to begin within us. Here is quote I want to leave you with:
You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending- C.S. Lewis