Take off the old self and grab ahold of the new!

This week I had a young man tell me that his soon to be mother-in-law didn’t want him to marry her daughter. I asked why, “He said, she still sees me like the old person I use to be”.

A few months back, this young man began to recognize things in him that he was no longer happy with. He began to focus on those areas and began to create change little by little.

When your in transition and someone still sees or remembers you as that old self that can be discouraging. No matter what you say they still define you as who they once knew. Which is understandable because they have never met the new you!

I know there are areas in my life that I struggle with and that I am working on. Some days are harder than others but I continue to press toward the goal.

Self reflection: Are there areas in your life that you are struggling with? That you no longer want it to define you as. Let’s hone in one thing at a time!

I said to this young man, “You do not have to prove that your a changed man. Allow others to see your behaviors and actions of who you have become”. Watch your thoughts and attitudes in your mind and continue to throw off the old self when it tries to creep back in and embrace the new self!

The key is continuing to move forward even if your afraid of embarking on the new you that you have never met. But do it, even if your doing it afraid!

In order to be world changers it has to begin within us. Here is quote I want to leave you with:

You can’t go back and change the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending- C.S. Lewis

Carrier’s of Hope

Sandy Cortes

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!

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Calculate your prey…

I was fascinated as I was watching a documentary about Lions. Did you know that a lion is a large cat and are known as “king of the beasts?” They are very territorial and truly defend their area against intruding lions and other animals. One of the ways a lion proclaims an area is by their roaring and scent marking on trees or different regions. Interesting enough the lions were calculating how to take down their prey, and then all of a sudden lunged at the neck and bit down until the animal was strangled.

This documentary was such a great illustration of how easily individuals can become prey and be killed. It made me reflect on how easy it is to fall prey to certain things in our lives. One downfall the lions have is that they do not keep track of the direction of the wind blowing. Which leads the bigger prey to them due to their scent marking. Reflecting on the enemies in our lives we tend to not see coming and are caught off guard.

I know one of my enemies has been “thoughts.” Did you know that we get anywhere from 25,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day? Seems overwhelming and exhausting all at the same time. Experts say, typically it is more negative thoughts than positive that come and can change your whole outlook on life. Those thoughts usually come in at the midnight hours, while sitting dormant or when facing difficulties.

I know for me it is tough to shake some of those enemies off. I have watched people lose touch with who they were because this “enemy” crept in and took the life right out of them literally. Not realizing how damaging that “enemy” can be to our well-being. In the line of work that I do” thoughts” are the number one cause that enables people to remain stuck and from growing.

I have learned to decipher things and become a good listener, be more observant of where I am at mentally and watch my behaviors as well as others. At times it can be disheartening to see how people change due to the enemy that has come in and sapped who they were called to be versus who they are. We get so bombarded that one has to be intentional about deciphering what those enemies are so that they do not sap the life right out of us.

So I want to propose these questions to you:

What are some of the things that you did not calculate that have changed who you are?

Are you sitting with those feelings of defeat because you lost sight of the enemy and life has strangled who you are?

Learn to be alert and calculate how to take down your prey, so it does not take you out.

Be sober [well balanced and self-disciplined], be alert and cautious at all times. That enemy of yours, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion [fiercely hungry], seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8, AMP).

Carriers of Hope,

Sandy Cortes

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!

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To be continued…

Have you ever watched a tv show or movie that had you sitting at the edge of your seat anticipating what is going to happen next? Then all of sudden it ends with “To be continued”.

You have all these emotions running through your veins and left wondering what just happened and why would they leave you that way? When will it be continued?

If you are like me I pull out my phone and search online to see when the next sequel or episode is coming out. Only left feeling more disappointed when there are no answers to those questions.

Have you ever felt like that about life? All of sudden things are going great and then something happens that alters your life, causing a pause. Either by a tragedy, loss of a love one, a separation or divorce or unexpected illness. Left wondering what just happened? What is going to happen next?

When I look back at some of the episodes of my life many have brought different emotions like pain and brokenness, while others caused a hardness of heart and bitterness! Left wondering will this pass? Some of those painful moments created self reflection and brought change within me or my situation. Learning from many of my “to be continued” series.

Just like the tv show or sequel it continues and shows you the next part of the story.

I am not sure what your facing today, but I want to encourage you that the things that have been left “to be continued” will be continued! You are building your story, your sequel, your next episode.

Every episode in your life builds upon the story that was created for you! Be encouraged today, this too shall pass! Then you will sit back and play the reruns of your life with others and those episodes will bring hope and encouragement to others as your share.

Carriers of Hope,

Sandy Cortes

Breathing hope one life at a time.

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Who is coaching YOU?

What is a coach?  It is a coach who comes alongside you to see you where you are at and help you get to where you want to be. 

I recall watching a commercial with a well-known basketball player and thinking, “He was not always a great basketball player”.  He had to work with someone behind the scenes that showed him different techniques and calling out some of the areas where growth needed to take place in.   The coach had to come alongside the basketball player on the sidelines and outside the games calling out different plays to conduct and not conduct while being in and out of the game.  Even the best experts utilize a Coach. A coach will listen to your story without feeling judged, criticized and provided the greatest support during those hard times.

We all have blind spots in our lives that we are unaware of and need some guidance in.  In having coach or accountability partner, they help in areas that are challenging and approach beliefs that are crippling one from making genuine connections and have fulfilling relationships.  They help individuals to gain the courage, strength and discover some of the passions and gain the confidence needed in overcoming life challenges that come unexpectedly.  

A coach helps to work on self-confidence and explore obstacles that have kept an individual stuck and has enabled them in believing that they can move forward.  Especially if you have not identified them as blind spots or mental blocks.   With Coaching one can explore many different topics like personal goals and/or professional goals.  It is not just about dealing with the past but closing the gap of where one is currently at and where you would like to be in your ideal self. Together creating an action plan that the individual and the coach are held accountable to fulfill and achieve those goals.

When your sitting down with someone who is a coach or is holding you accountable that person is able to examine where you are at and learn what patterns have been good for you and not.  Honing in and taking a look at some of the life challenges and misunderstandings about yourself and others.  That has occurred throughout life and learn to follow through in trusting yourself to revisit those areas. A coach helps with your personal life, goal setting, and dealing with life challenges.  It helps an individual to get unstuck and create healthy habits, as well as learning how to have fun, unleash the gifts within you, and improve relationships.  Furthermore, it helps create awareness in identifying your life purpose and reaching your goals.

People that have chosen to have a Coach have been successful in life because they have chosen to do something different and together brainstorm and create a plan that will lead them to become a better individual. 

The role of a Coach is to help provide the tools needed to help achieve goals and carry out the vision for yourself at the same time holding you accountable.  It is a great resource to utilize that allows an individual to move forward in life where the life coach is there to motivate and supports individuals that face roadblocks along the way.  Everyone has life challenges but it is what you do with them that matters.  With each challenge, there is always a solution that eventually becomes part of your story.

Where we get to explore and face those areas of life that have been challenging and help shape you into a stronger, healthier and empower the person within you.  It is a place where we provide the tools to help empty the garbage out. The goal is to gain new tools to deal with life challenged one has experienced as well as prepare you to cope effectively with the stresses and challenges that life brings. 

Life Application

Do you want to achieve happiness and true fulfillment in your personal life? Do you want to begin let go of any fears and concerns? It is time to seek after a coach or accountability partner, as we all need in our lives.

Carrier’s of Hope,

Sandy Cortes

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!

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Are you letting your junk build up?

Have you ever felt like there so many things going on all at the same time?

Then that one little thing sets you off and you reflect on everything that’s not going right.  What do we do with that? Do you deal with things as they come up or are we just continuing to stuff things and tell ourselves I’ll deal with that later? Yet later never comes!

I know from personal experience I have been one to stuff what I was feeling and then never come to address it ever again.  Either because I was afraid of having to go there and relive that experience or those feelings of being angry would come up all over again.  What I have learned on this journey is that by holding on to things in and never addressing them it begins to create a hardened heart.  It begins to take away from who you were called to be.  You begin to become complacent and believe that this new journey is a part of you.  When in reality it is taking the life out of you.  You become hopeless in the process and start losing the fight.

Like the rest of the world we are all struggling with some type of brokenness, wound or challenges in our lives.  The suicide rate continues to  escalate or people begin turning to things that they believe can numb or fix the pain.  Then to circle right back around and stay stuck in the same place we  started.

I want to advice you to change your thinking and change the lane your on and head towards the path of bettering yourself.  Remember we are all a work in progress.  Learn to deal with stuff along the way or kill the pride and ask someone to walk alongside this journey so your not going at it alone!  Two are better than one!

Take time today to deal with one thing that you can change and have control over versus the opposite of that.  Your worth it!

Carrier’s of Hope

Sandy Cortes

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!

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Being deformed rather than transformed

shattered doll

I recall back in my high school years I loved wearing high heels. Back then they were called pumps. This girl had a struct like a runway model always feeling ready for a show.

Several years ago I began having pain on my left foot, so I decided to see a podiatrist. I am embarrassed to be putting this out there for the world to read. He said, “Sandy, you have a bunion growing on your foot.” I quickly said, “A who, come again, an onion.” I’m laughing as I am typing this. He could see the puzzling look on my face. So I asked him, “What in the world is that, how did that happen and how do we get rid of it?” He mentioned, “It a bony profusion that forms in the joint at the base of the big toe.” Then it begins to put pressure on the big toe causing it to grow outward. I had this confused look on my face; it was not registering.

Here are some stats, do you know that about 8% of women over the age of 21 reports having this condition. I thought to myself, “I am not trying to be part of this girl’s club. The analytical in me kicked in and pondered on that percentage being low. Well, come to find out that it is about 18 million women, and I was one of them.

I was still waiting for how did it happen part, and he mentioned several things. Then the light bulb went off when he said that it could come from the high-heeled, pointy toe, poorly designed or ill-fitting shoes. Remember that runway model back in high school. The doctor recommended not wearing those cute high heels caused the bunion would continue to grow. My feathers were already ruffled and sprawled out like a peacock having to let go of the crown of my days as a runway model, and now all those beautiful heels pointed shoes to go away.

Then he said, “It is a slow process, and you have no control when it begins to a happen and over time the toe starts to shape itself to the right. Toes are not supposed to do that! That day I was not about to let not podiatrist tell me what to wear let alone take my runway crown. Then it began to happen as he predicted. Have you ever seen a bunion on someone’s foot? Let’s say it is not attractive no matter if you are wearing the prettiest sandals. Those beautiful heels became so uncomfortable to wear and would hurt. I quickly made that call when I began to notice this take place and wanted that ugly thing gone. I had to have surgery. Throughout the years, I have not worn those pretty heels as much I as would wish too; the doctor did state that it can come back.

Have you ever had something in your life happen that grew on you without having any control over it, as that bunion did for me? I can not tell you how many people I speak to that life took a turn that changed them: an unexpected illness, a divorce, or a loss of a loved one. Seeing the warning signs and having no control of what direction it’s going. That ugly thing did not have permission to be there.

As I was reflecting on one of my journal entries back in December of 2009, I recall going through such a hard time. I had recently lost my mother about two years to cancer and my neighbors were killed by a drunk driver, leaving behind three beautiful children. Life was hard, and I wanted answers, I was angry and felt like life was not fair. I was mad at people, God and did want no spiel of “only God knows or this is part of life, it happens.” So many emotions were taking place, and everything seemed so out of control. It began to deform a lot of areas in my life. To grow and take shape into parts of me that started to change who I was — not seeing it grow on me and then not knowing how to remove them.

I wish I can say, that I went back to the doctor and had surgery to get it removed. If only it were that easy, right? It took a lot of time to heal, and at times things still come up from those hard years. I had learned to permit myself to grieve those things, to allow the anger and hurt to be expressed versus keeping it bottled in or putting it in a file to deal with later. Then as time went on, I ask God, to help me heal and let it go. I was not allowing the analytical Sandy to want all the questions answered before moving forward. I was tired of being angry.

One of the most significant things that took place was that it brought a lot of transformation in my life. It allowed me to have compassion for those who are grieving the loss of something whether it was a death or not. Something was birthed in me in wanting to help others identify those deformities that take place. Then to begin to have surgery on callous areas and use those things to cause the transformation to take place.

I have had a lot of deformities take place in my life and eventually I became so tired of having them there. I was afraid to have to go and get them looked at. I want to ask a question, “Are you afraid of being deformed rather than transformed?” I am not sure what you’re facing, but I want to encourage you to permit yourself to feel those things that have happened in your life. To take a look at the deformities and ask yourself has this cause a transformation or is still deforming different parts of your life?

Beloved, know that you have a story to share just as I am sharing some of the chapters of mine. Begin by picking up the phone, or send an email or text and ask someone to help come alongside and help you with those deformities. How much longer before you have them removed?

Carrier’s of Hope,
Sandy Cortes
Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!

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Motion Detected

I recently purchased equipment similar to the ring door. It was fascinating that every time any kind of activity came near it would alert me. I can watch through the camera as things were coming up towards the door and how it just alerted. It would indicate, “Motion Detected” whether it was an animal or someone walking by it automatically picked any motion.

Being who I am I always look at things as an opportunity to dig deeper which made me reflect on how unalert we are with the things that we allow in our lives. Or sometimes are alert of the those. How many times in our lives have we detected something and just kind of brushed it away and figured oh it’s nothing. Years later it reared it’s ugly head up again and are still dealing with those things that were detected years ago. 

What I found the most fascinating about this device was the fact that I can watch those things as they were coming near. How many times in our life do you really keep an eye out on those things that are getting to close and can be a threat to our well-being?  Whether it’s an unwanted relationship, unhealthy habits or boundaries that we’ve allowed or crossed and jeopardized our morals. 

We have to be like that device and detect any type of motion and really see if we can give it access. Whether it is with our emotions, behaviors or attitudes. Even with our own hidden beliefs that something goes off to alert us that it’s not okay and that we need to be on the lookout. I can’t tell you how many times in my life I’ve simply ignored those things that I detected with habits, behaviors and the things I have done to make myself believe it is okay. 

This device has come in handy, and one of the primary reason I purchased it was my daughter is heading into middle school next year. I wanted a sense of safety and security for her if I was not home. This device caused some self-reflection and question if I was monitoring my own life or not. Was I taking inventory of everything that was coming in and out of my heart, mind, and soul? This caused me to hone in on those things that aren’t necessarily good and not settle for things that I have allowed or highlight those things that I am unwilling to deal with.

Go on this journey with me and ponder for a quick moment. What are you detecting? Is it time look at those things in the face and detect what does or does not my belong in your life?  Have you detected some motion taking place and either not face them or maybe you are ready to deal with it or just simply are okay with ignoring it? 

I believe everything in life happens for a reason, and I don’t believe in coincidental. Every detail of our lives is part of our story whether it’s good or bad. As an individual’s, we have to learn to embrace the good and the bad but work on the things that are not good and learn to keep those things out. Detecting any kind of motion that may be detrimental in the long haul.

Beloved, are you ready to go on this journey with me and detect what those things are? It is time to take inventory of what has been happening lately.

Life Application

  • Reflection
  • Ask yourself, “Are you okay with what you have been detecting?” Whether it is good or bad, do not beat yourself over it!
  • Now set an action plan into place!
  • Grab an accountability partner, who will hold you accountable and be there during this new stance and journey you have taken.

Carrier’s of Hope,

Sandy Cortes

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!