“Trust is the oxygen of all human relationships.” — Lysa TerKeurst

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” — Proverbs 4:23

Have you ever been hurt by someone and noticed yourself changing afterward?

Maybe you stopped sharing as much. Maybe you became more cautious. Maybe you replayed the offense in your mind or found yourself reacting from frustration before anything new had even happened.

I’ve had moments where I thought I was simply protecting my heart, only to realize I also needed to pay attention to what the hurt was producing in me.

That’s what made Proverbs 4:23 stand out differently.

God tells us to guard our hearts.

Sometimes that means being mindful of the level of access we give people. Not everyone should have the same access to us, especially when trust has been broken.

For a long time, I thought boundaries meant I didn’t care about someone or didn’t love them. But I’ve learned that boundaries can actually be an expression of love and wisdom. They help me recognize what I will and will not tolerate moving forward while still keeping my heart in the right place.

I’ve also learned that boundaries can come with a cost.

I may be rejected, set aside, misunderstood, or disregarded because I’m no longer willing to accept what I once tolerated.

That has been one of the harder parts for me.

But fear of someone’s response cannot be what determines whether I walk in wisdom. I can love someone and still say no. I can care deeply and still create distance. I can grieve the cost of a boundary without believing the boundary was wrong.

Then comes the second part of the verse:

“…for everything you do flows from it.”

Guarding my heart isn’t only about what I allow in. I also have to pay attention to what is flowing out.

Because hurt can become bitterness, resentment, anger, offense, unforgiveness, or strife.

And that leads me to a deeper question:

Am I guarding my heart, or am I hardening it?

A guarded heart can still love, forgive, use wisdom, and set boundaries.

A hardened heart allows the hurt to determine what flows from it.

So maybe the question isn’t only:

“Can I trust them again?”

Maybe it’s also:

“What is flowing out of my heart while I’m navigating the hurt?”

Heart Check

• What level of access am I giving people?
• What has been flowing out of my heart lately?
• Am I guarding my heart with wisdom, or slowly hardening it?
• Am I afraid to set a boundary because of what it may cost me?
• Has hurt changed the way I speak, respond, or see others?
• Is there anything I need to surrender to God?
• Where might I need a healthier boundary?

Prayer

Lord, help me guard my heart without allowing it to become hardened. Give me wisdom about the access I give others and courage to set boundaries when they are needed.

Help me not to fear rejection, misunderstanding, or the cost that can come with choosing what is healthy.

Show me where hurt has affected what flows from me, and help me release bitterness, resentment, anger, offense, and unforgiveness.

Teach me to love with wisdom, forgive without ignoring patterns, and keep my heart tender toward You.

May what flows from my heart reflect You.

Amen.

With hope,
Sandy
Carriers of Hope
Breathing Hope, One Life at a Time.