Go,”I will hold the Frontline”

action-army-battle-163347.jpgToday I am reminded of a movie called “Tears of the Sun.”  In this movie the country was on the brink of a Civil War.  A.K. Waters, (Bruce Willis) was assigned to lead a team of soldiers into the Nigerian jungle to rescue Dr Lena Kendricks.  That was his mission in the movie.  He shares the mission with her but she does not want to leave her patients to be slaughtered by rebels.  A.K. Waters witnesses all the great work she is doing to help the refugees and decides to help bring her and refugees to safety.  Stay with me here, it’s a great movie..

So as they set out on the mission there are bombs and bullets flying everywhere.  The most powerful statement in this movie was when it was time to cross over the border and A.K. Waters tells the Dr. and refugee, “Go, I will hold the frontline”.  A.K. Waters and his soldiers were being shot, he was losing some of his men in the crossfire.  Yet determined he and his soldiers aligned themselves in one unison to “Hold that Frontline”.   A.K. Waters knew the mission and it did not matter what was coming at them as long as he completed the assignment that was given to him.

This made me reflect on how many times in our life do we lose the fight in us because there is a battle going on.  We see the bombs, the bullets flying and everything is so loud and scary that we stop moving.  I recall one of the those battles in my life where I was on the brink of a divorce.  My husband and I had a very tough upbringing and we brought that baggage into our marriage.  We were losing the fight and sought counseling and even in our counseling we were cutting each others throats with our words. I wanted nothing more than to hurt him the way I felt he hurt me.  I wanted him to feel my pain and the pain of my past.  I was spewing hate and was angry at God for all I had endured.  I wanted nothing more than to walk away from marriage. That’s when God sent in an A.K. Waters along my way and some soldiers to help and they saw the mission in my life and decided to “Hold the Frontline”.

When I think of this I think of our friends and loved ones that may be going through their own battle in life and feel they are losing the fight.  That is where we come in and “Hold the Frontline”, we hold their hands up and pray and fight when they are losing hope and are wanting to quit.

Are you feeling defeated today or losing the battle in your life?  I am here to encourage you and let you know, you are not alone.  I am praying for you, I want to be able to “Hold the Frontline” for you.  Praying that God will send you some reinforcement like an A.K. Waters, to hold your hands up when you feel like your losing the will to fight.  God knows the mission in your life, so do not lose hope! Your not meant to fight this battle alone!

Life Application

  • What is it that your facing today?
  • Is is time to call some reinforcement in?
  • Pick up the phone and call that person that comes to mind that you can share what is going on.

If this ministered to you today or you know of someone who needs this, please help me share it to your friends and love ones.   Leave a comment if you’re needing prayer.  It would bring me so much joy to come alongside and be praying for you!

God bless you!

Carrier’s of Hope

Breathing Hope one Life at a Time





Beware of the Signs…

beach-blue-sky-cliff-555709Don’t you just love it when something is being exposed in your life that you never saw the signs?  There were never any inclination that it was coming your way so that you can prepare for it.   Like an “Stay Back” or “Road Work Ahead , so that you can chose to go different route.  If only things in life where that easy right?

My husband and I host a small group in our home for relationships every week.  We have covered this curriculum for many years.  Then the organization implemented a new topic that I had never heard or prepared for prior to that evening.  The topic was,  “Destructive Husbands and Wives.”  It went through things that can occur in a marriage that can be very toxic to a relationship.

It went over 3 types of past hurts: Emotional, Relationships and Parental Hurts that you feel you brought into the relationship.  It went on to cover different behaviors that occur like Criticism, Control, Dominance and Checking Out.  There I was being a sponge and writing away, so I can be ready for recap.  I love our small group because they are so good about engaging and being so personable.

I feel my husband and I have a way of creating a safe environment for open discussion.  So I probe the question “Which past hurt do you feel you have brought into the relationship that has affected it?”  Everyone went around the room and shared and that’s when the impact came without even seeing the signs ahead. It was as if I was seeing a movie being played right in front of me.

The scenario was that I was sitting at a dining room table and my siblings and I were there and I heard the words of my stepdad, “Don’t talk to me I am not your father”.  My father could go months without speaking to me.  SIx months had gone by and not one word was spoken to me.  Then I saw my husband and children when they would be upset and not speak to me.

This is where the behavior of “Checking Out” came full circle.  When someone is checked out they are not present. There physical body is there but they are not engaged.  That is when I heard God say to me,  “Sandy, when life gets overwheming or you begin processing things, this is what you do”.  “You become disengaged and close your heart towards your loved ones and me”. “This stems from what your dad did to you growing up”.

The hazard lights of my heart were flashing and my heart rate began to rise.  This is called, “Emotional Abandonment”  This is when someone shuts their emotions and feelings off because of what they are experiencing.  They abandon the situation that is going on.  This is when I saw how my dad emotionally abandoned me many times in my life.

This is pretty raw and I knew had to share it with our group.  God has called me to be real about my life experiences.  This is why I am sharing this with you as well.  I have been completely undone by this topic. I knew God orchestrated this setup for me.  Maybe throughout my life I avoided the signs, or maybe I saw them but chose a different route so I did not have to face the pain of that abandonment.  But God knew it was the time.

Ecclesiastes 3 says, “There is a time for everything and a season, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and time to build, a time to tear and time to mend.  But through it all God is there every step of the way for us.  God shows up and redirects the route and does not allow you to avoid the signs any longer.

Life Application

  • Have you seen the signs?
  • Have you avoided them all together?
  • What past hurts are you experiencing?
  • What seems to be the ongoing behavior?

IF you feel this ministered to you or know of someone who could use some encouragement, help me spread the word.  Help me be a “Carrier of Hope” for those God is trying to reach.  To Breath Hope One Life at a Time!

God Bless You!

Carrier’s of Hope




Help my unbelief!


Today, I am pondering on a season in my life where I thought, “If one more thing goes wrong, I am literally going to snap”.  Where my upbringing began to ooze out of my pores.  It tainted my outlook on life and question the beliefs I was raised by.  How many times in life do you feel like you do not understand why certain things have happened to you? Or you continue to be challenged in an area and watch it not pan out like you had planned?

One day I watched as some new neighbors moved in across the street from us.  I could see them come home from my office, don’t judge me,  I am an undercover stalker! That’s when I heard a still small voice tell me, “Go and introduce yourself to her” and my response was, ‘No way I am not going over their!  Next thing I knew, there I was knocking on the door.  That day I made such a beautiful connection with her and the family.  It was like a breath of fresh air to me.

The couple had been hurt by their church and no longer attending.  I knew to take things slowly and began inviting them over for coffee or anything to build a relationship.  I would share snippets of my upbringing and how I had turned my back on God because of what I experienced growing up.   We went on outings together, dinners at each others home, we had some special moments.  Then I invited them to our small group and eventually to the church I attended.  They began going to church and God was doing a new thing in their family.  God used my husband and I to minister to them by being an anchor of love to them.

That is when hardship reared its face at me again and in 2006 our neighbors were killed by a drunk driver leaving behind their three beautiful children.  My whole world became undone and I was at a lost for words.  I sat in disbelief and thought I need to wake up from this nightmare.  Then about 8 months later, I lost my mother to cancer.  In that moment all that I believed felt like I had been deceived.  I questioned, ” If there was a God and asked “Why do bad things happen to good people?”  Why would God send these neighbors or reconcile my relationship with my mom to take them away? It was an internal turmoil that had been bubbling for years and now ruptured.

I went through a dark time with a lot of sleepless nights. The last thing I wanted was my church friends coming over to encourage or pray for me. It was like pouring alcohol on a wound.  I felt so toxic inside and was so angry at God.  But in that dark time is where I heard that small still voice.  Whispering to me saying, “Allow me to come close to your heart and heal you and show you who I am”.  Well I answered the call, because nothing was numbing the pain I felt, except God.

I’ve had many incidents pop up in my life that have made me question God.  Where I avoided praying or believing with someone due to my own disbelief. Wondering if it will be an answer to prayer or not!  Again that small still whispers,  “Allow me to go deeper and bring another level of healing to your disbelief”.  I have seen God do some amazing things in my life.  He is such a gentleman and knows my heart and still meets me where I am at in that moment of disbelief.

Have you ever felt it’s an uphill battle to continue believing in something regardless of the outcome?  I am not sure what has happened in your life and maybe whatever that is has tainted what you believe in.

Life Application

  • I want to challenge you wherever you are at in life.
  • To listen to that small still voice that whispers, “Allow me to come close to your heart, heal you and show you who I am”.

Will you help me by sharing this blog with someone who needs a word of encouragement. You never know if they are in a place in their life and need to hear the whisper of that still small voice.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18, NIV).

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time!

Carrier’s of Hope




Layers vs. Nakedness


There are times that I lay in my bed like the old days of Adam and Eve, just with the fig leaves!  As I was laying in my bed I was sleeping with two different blankets.  One was covering my upper body and the other one was covering the lower.  I thought to myself, “How many people are living under multiple layers?” That they cannot even remember when the last time was they were completely vulnerable and exposed.  When I think of being raw and vulnerable I think of being naked in front of a mirror or being completely raw about what is really going on in life.

I have hidden under many layers so that people could not know who the real Sandy was. I covered myself with different types of layers of: comparison, fear of man, acceptance, and those feelings of being unlovable.  I was not even sure how to come out from underneath those layers and some were harder than others.  There were days that I wanted to stay underneath them on out of comfort or feeling safe under those layers

My whole life I always walked around under the layers of wanting to be accepted and approved.  I jeopardized certain standards that I had been raised by.  All for the approval of man and waiting for them to pull out that stamp of “APPROVED”. I always felt like the odd ball in crowds or the loud mouth, so I would feel the temperature in the room and become that chameleon. This was a lot of maintenance and by the end of the day still was left with those feelings of feeling unaccepted.

I had to decide of not wanting to live under those layers anymore.  Deep in my heart I wanted to expose who I really was and be vulnerable, be raw!  Show my nakedness in areas of my life that I was still working on, that were flawed and imperfect. Those layers were heavy and were suffocating me and I was growing tired as the years went by.  But yet I fought against the lies in not knowing how to come out confidently and say, “Surprise, look at me”.   Until one day I became tired of hiding for all those years.  Regardless of the temperature in the room, I was going to be happy with me and no longer hide under those layers.  That day came were I said “Surprise, this is me”.

See, I had to find my acceptance in my creator, not in man.   That no matter the temperature in the room and in revealing my nakedness, I was still accepted.  God had to get to the heart of my layers and begin to lift and expose those lies and feelings.  My entire life I always felt like I could not add up or feel accepted by my parents.  But God, He made it safe for me to show and give him my nakedness with the good, bad and the ugly.  At times I find myself still being sharpened in this area of my life and being reminded of what my creator has said about me, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalms 139:14, NIV).

I want to encourage you and tell you that God wants to lift those layers off of you today and welcomes the good, bad and ugly of YOUR life and he reaches down to you and hands YOU the stamp of “APPROVED”  I am praying for you today and I know that God is close to your heart and has his arms wide open and says, “I reached out from heaven and rescued you”.

Life Application

  • What layers are you hiding under?
  • When was the last time you experienced vulnerability and rawness around others or close friends?
  • Are you constantly searching for that stamp of “APPROVED”?
  • Grab it and tattoo it to your heart, mind and soul.

Comment below and share it with someone who you feel can use a word of encouragement.  Help me to be that anchor of hope to others by sharing this blog!

Breathing Hope One Life at a Time.

Carrier’s of Hope